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Post by SAM on Jun 5, 2008 9:37:53 GMT 2
Wat die man allemaal kan!
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is!
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Post by Wolkyboom on Jun 5, 2008 10:10:22 GMT 2
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
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Post by SAM on Jun 5, 2008 10:22:19 GMT 2
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
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Post by SAM on Jun 5, 2008 10:44:27 GMT 2
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
The only hand that can beat a Royal Flush, is Chuck Norris' Hand!
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Post by K.O.K. on Jun 5, 2008 11:55:36 GMT 2
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
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Post by Wolkyboom on Jun 5, 2008 12:03:17 GMT 2
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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waarde
Begient te komme
Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!
Posts: 138
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Post by waarde on Jun 5, 2008 13:12:30 GMT 2
When Chuck Norris is doing push-ups, he's actually pushing the earth down.
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Post by SAM on Jun 5, 2008 13:59:05 GMT 2
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
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Post by Wolkyboom on Jun 5, 2008 14:00:13 GMT 2
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
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Post by SAM on Jun 5, 2008 14:11:04 GMT 2
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer. ;D Geniaal |
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Post by jobminator on Jun 5, 2008 18:59:23 GMT 2
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Post by jobminator on Jun 5, 2008 19:00:58 GMT 2
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
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Post by jobminator on Jun 5, 2008 19:03:23 GMT 2
Di shirt wil ik!!!  |
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waarde
Begient te komme
Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!
Posts: 138
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Post by waarde on Jun 5, 2008 23:12:10 GMT 2
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
Chuck Norris did in fact build Rome in a day.
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waarde
Begient te komme
Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!
Posts: 138
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Post by waarde on Jun 5, 2008 23:14:17 GMT 2
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken ;D
Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover
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waarde
Begient te komme
Aaah! Natural light! Get it off me! Get it off me!
Posts: 138
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Post by waarde on Jun 5, 2008 23:28:51 GMT 2
Zo nog even een laatste selectie voor vandaag:
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
As a child Chuck Norris didn't wet his bed, it wet itself out of fear for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
Everybody loves Raymond, except Chuck Norris.
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Post by Wolkyboom on Jun 6, 2008 9:03:09 GMT 2
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
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Post by SAM on Jun 6, 2008 9:36:54 GMT 2
Chuck Norris invented the apple.
Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
When Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, the boomerang does not return because it is scared to come back.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
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Post by Wolkyboom on Jun 6, 2008 9:46:05 GMT 2
Scotty in Star Trek often says “Ye cannae change the laws of physics.” This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
The Sherman tank was originaly called the Norris tank until Chuck Norris decided it wasn't tough enough to be associated with him. The Army, for fear of Chuck Norris, renamed the tank and promised to develop a weapon more fitting of his name. To date, no weapon created has been badass enough to be named after Chuck Norris.
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Post by SAM on Jun 6, 2008 14:35:59 GMT 2
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
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Post by Wolkyboom on Jun 6, 2008 14:39:10 GMT 2
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
Chuck Norris' sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each one is the size of a quarter.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Post by Wolkyboom on Jun 6, 2008 15:52:43 GMT 2
There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.
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Post by jobminator on Jun 6, 2008 23:15:55 GMT 2
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Fourty seven times
He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.
Chuck Norris can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.
Chuck Norris doesn't have blood. He is filled with magma.
182,000 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year.
When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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Post by Wolkyboom on Jun 7, 2008 15:05:13 GMT 2
When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg
Chuck Norris has never had a surprise birthday party. He can NEVER be surprised. EVER.
Einstein's original Theory of Relativity was; if Chuck Norris kicks you, your relatives will feel it.
Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.
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Post by jobminator on Jun 7, 2008 19:19:15 GMT 2
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